Thursday, 12 June 2014

I will never let you go



‘I am in love with you. I love you so much, I would give it all just for you. In good and bad times I promise to stand by your side with my sincere love.’ Mention these words and no one will go by without noticing, some with admiration and yet others with loath, jealousy or even get judgmental and rubbish you as a silly person.   Still, I am in love, deeply in love and it scares me. I feel I have been made soft as this love now runs through my whole system and control me like a marionette.

My old guy (grandpa) thinks any man in love is silly and girly. According to him a man should be driven by purpose, principles and objectivity, not emotions. He ascribes to the lot that believes your kinfolk (mostly an aunt) should help you choose, vet and decide on whom to tie the knot with in matrimony. And in this case the fundamental consideration is on tribe, family history and
personal behavior. My community should never marry jarabuon; they will eventually run away with your wealth or get your house burnt by the community every electioneering season. If any of your relations was a witch, a mean person, attempted suicide or had a white skin then that’s a total no. ‘And here I am, I am in love with a stranger to my people,’ problem number one.

My love is over three thousand miles away (don't know where i got this), in a land I have never been to. She now speaks a language which neither belongs to her people nor mine. Where she is there is no omena or matoke and I wary if she still remembers how to prepare them. She loves jeans, tight skirts and hot pants. Her dressing, she says, is not controlled by the African moral codes requiring a descent lady to cover as much as she can with loose clothes but instead by trend and season. Cover it all in pants during winter and leave it almost bare in bikini during summer. Still, ‘I am in love and the acquired culture affects me not.’

Problem number three, I can’t visit my baby and she can’t visit me either as costs lay a static blockade. The close we come is through the social media, telephone call or through the mail system. This only works a little as I still long to see the eyes of the girl I love as she blinks and blushes away. Teach me how to put a ring on it over a video call. Teach me how to introduce her to my grandma over Skype factoring in the language problem. How do I know when my lady is low and needs my comfort and counseling? You who have had a perfectly working long distance relationship, what do you do when there is a miss understanding and she is not picking calls or replying your texts? As for me and my house when this happened I let her be and pray that the stars link us again someday, I call her after a few days, or weeks. Still, ‘I am in love and it will move mountains for me.’

Define for me love, tell me what it is, this love that has swept me off my feet. Be the philosopher who explains to me this mysterious feeling, I have failed to comprehend.  Love the strong feeling of attraction; love the strong feeling that spans the wide ocean to connect people in different continents. Love, love, love; I am still in love,  

deeply in love with you my lady.

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