Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Things Really Change

Each and every day things change, in small bits or even total transformations. Twenty plus years ago I was a toddler and knew nothing apart from crying and giggling. Mom was my favorite person, obviously because of her breast milk and constant pampering, and then dad bought more presents and earned his space too in my heart. Today I am grown and my chin is smooth no more. I now have to shave twice a week and sure enough, it sucks. They are no more (and I haven’t said I am not complaining) and their attention is being shifted elsewhere. Weirdly, mostly to this girl who is not my kin, not my tribe and I have only known her for a while. Just because she’s got a fine ass, talks like an angel and now does all the pampering. I love my siblings too, especially the younger ones.  

In the morning I look at myself in the mirror and my six-pack and the tu-little muscles accumulation in my chest and arms makes me feel strong. The belief that I had to depend or seek permission from someone before doing anything is slowly vanishing and I find delight in independence, in mystery.
When I wake up in the morning to go to work; putting on official attire and grooming myself to exaggerate my intelligence and gentleman attributes, I feel like I am almost making it. Feels Like I am almost there. The fact that I can speak proper English using the right tempo while discussing business assures me that I will one day become C.E.O. of a reputable company.

Things change; even religion. The first church I remember attending was S.D.A., then Catholic, and now Lutheran, even Jehovah witness at some point. Some of these I now see as sects while my admiration for Catholic Masses and Doctrines grows each and every day. Though my pastor preaches against Atheism, a small percentage of my conscience is getting confused already (shame). Blame it on reading bad literature and the ever present conflicting philosophies. As a child and with the long S.D.A. sermons I used to sleep a lot in church. This has changed too as today I listen more keenly to what the preacher says. I want to grasp what he says and relate it to previous sermons. I want to get how they speak about the shared doctrines and even where contradictions emerge. The sinful I also want to listen and make judgments based on what my pastor teaches and how contradicting it is to how he leads his personal life.

I still go to school because I want to become knowledgeable. My goal is attaining a PhD and becoming a significant consultant to my community and my country Kenya. I want to change lives, help people attain their goals and lead a comfortable life. I want to see people happy, children grow into adults and more people with full potbellies. This is unlike some years back when all I wanted was to become Moi (the former president). To constantly be on television, to have people lined up by the road side while I am passing in a big Mercedes car with several others in the chase. I wanted to enjoy the luxury of unnecessarily many bodyguards and plenty of entertainment in form of people singing and dancing for me whenever I attend to my public duties.   

Things really change so fast.

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